Decided I would do my weekly phone call to my Mother while sitting in traffic on the way home from work today. Figured it would keep my mind off getting annoyed by the everyday traffic on the 55, and boy that conversation sure did.
She had a sense of calm tone in her voice from the begenning of the conversation, but I assumed it was because the weather has been in tripple digits leaving just about everyone in not only heat that sucks the life out of you, but humity that could drain the patience and happiness out of everyone.
My Mom and I carried along with our usual casual conversation about work, how her visit to uncle Matt's was in Palm Springs. And how Kaela swam with all the gays and lesbians at the party and my mom forgot her camera to even take a picture of it. I can picture my sister at a pool party with a bunch of happy hyper gays who adore my rambunctious and energy infections 7 year-old little sister who thrives off the word poop and fart.
Then my Mom asked me if I had recently talked to Grammie.I had only for a few seconds about a week ago while making small talk while she was at the street fair. My Mom said, "Grammie has a tumor near her thyroid and finds out the results Tuesday at the doctors and she wants me to go with her." The words came out so fast I didn't have enough time to comprehend or react with any emotion. Can't even remember what I said or even that I was driving or where I was.
When in a panic or state of shock I'm usually very calm. It didn't hit me till minutes after I hung up the phone with my Mom that my Grandma could possibly have cancer. That's when the swelling of my throat tightened and it felt like when you're a kid and you want to cry, but don't want your classmates to make fun of you.
I couldn't help but let my thought process continue to the thought of losing my Grandma. I've been so blessed my entire life to have both grandparents around me while growing up. I've even had the chance to meet my Mom's biological parents making me feel as though I've had 6 grandparents. I've always felt so spoiled with love as a kid a still do. Fortunetly I haven't gone through the loss of a loved one, even my Mom hasn't yet.
I only hope and pray that everything will be alright, but mostly hope and pray that Grammie's handling it okay herself. If I know her correctly as I should since I've lived with her more than half my life, she's definately scared. The more I age, the more I'm aware that this is life. Nothing hurts more than words that say your loved ones state of health is at risk.
She had a sense of calm tone in her voice from the begenning of the conversation, but I assumed it was because the weather has been in tripple digits leaving just about everyone in not only heat that sucks the life out of you, but humity that could drain the patience and happiness out of everyone.
My Mom and I carried along with our usual casual conversation about work, how her visit to uncle Matt's was in Palm Springs. And how Kaela swam with all the gays and lesbians at the party and my mom forgot her camera to even take a picture of it. I can picture my sister at a pool party with a bunch of happy hyper gays who adore my rambunctious and energy infections 7 year-old little sister who thrives off the word poop and fart.
Then my Mom asked me if I had recently talked to Grammie.I had only for a few seconds about a week ago while making small talk while she was at the street fair. My Mom said, "Grammie has a tumor near her thyroid and finds out the results Tuesday at the doctors and she wants me to go with her." The words came out so fast I didn't have enough time to comprehend or react with any emotion. Can't even remember what I said or even that I was driving or where I was.
When in a panic or state of shock I'm usually very calm. It didn't hit me till minutes after I hung up the phone with my Mom that my Grandma could possibly have cancer. That's when the swelling of my throat tightened and it felt like when you're a kid and you want to cry, but don't want your classmates to make fun of you.
I couldn't help but let my thought process continue to the thought of losing my Grandma. I've been so blessed my entire life to have both grandparents around me while growing up. I've even had the chance to meet my Mom's biological parents making me feel as though I've had 6 grandparents. I've always felt so spoiled with love as a kid a still do. Fortunetly I haven't gone through the loss of a loved one, even my Mom hasn't yet.
I only hope and pray that everything will be alright, but mostly hope and pray that Grammie's handling it okay herself. If I know her correctly as I should since I've lived with her more than half my life, she's definately scared. The more I age, the more I'm aware that this is life. Nothing hurts more than words that say your loved ones state of health is at risk.
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